Borderline Personality Disorder, Recovery and Me in 2013

Road to Recovery

October was the last time I posted here, and my stats sure show an understandably huge decline in readership – why come here if there is nothing new to read after all. A double-edged sword…

I miss the camaraderie of conversing with my fellow bloggers and keeping up with how everyone is getting on but at the same time that I do not ‘need’ my blog and reading others as a crutch to help me cope with what is still a very busy, emotional and challenging life is a clear indication of how much better I am now than I was.

That said, this may end up being a post of more than one part, as I don’t want to bore you senseless droning on for hours, but I do have a lot to cover in this long overdue update. I’m going to start with the most important topic (blog wise) BPD after all it was writing about living with Borderline Personality Disorder that really caused my blog to take off and draw people in so for my readers knowing how much this effects me now is certainly the most important thing they are interested in – for hope, inspiration and encouragement that they too can recover, so here goes…

Beyond BPD – Stability and the lack of Symptoms

English: Borderline personality sufferers often like to present themselves with an image that is “bad”; in ways including wearing “gothic” style clothing, heavy makeup, and other unusual fashion statements. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I stated in my recent post I have been experiencing a period of relative stability for a while now. Whether this is remission, recovery or will last remains to be seen but for now it’s all good. I thought it would be helpful, to me and others, to examine the DSM IV criteria for BPD and how I stand in relation to each currently…

This time last year – April BPD crisis

Image Credit - 'Given Up' by Melverry deviantart.com

What a difference a year makes…

Or does it?

Have things changed a lot for me, for you, over the past year?

Where were you this time last year?

Earlier this month I mentioned being concerned about April and how it always seems to bring some of my worst BPD problems, last year was probably the worst ever for that.

Let me tell you where I was this time last year…

A BPD extreme cry for help – Rage, Anger, Splitting and Panic (or Getting into a pub brawl and a night in the police cells)

Image credit: Cecee @ deviantart.com

This is a true, personal account of a recent night out that turned bad, very bad and how in such a panic to get some ‘real’ help for my BPD I made an already bad situation into something even worse…

*Trigger warning* – there is discussion of self-harm attempts in this post and bad language.

Chronic Feelings of Emptiness in Borderline Personality Disorder

The DSM-IV criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder lists ‘chronic feelings of emptiness’ as the seventh criterion. This can be described as:

These episodes may reflect the individual’s extreme reactivity troubled by chronic feelings of emptiness (Criterion 7). Easily bored, they may constantly seek something to do.

source: BPD Today